A STORY OF RETIREMENT

Retirement was poking its head round the corner but suddenly sprung itself on me. I was far from ready to give up my life as a physiotherapist. It is not a role I play, it is part of my identity as a person. From my teens I saw myself as someone working in the medical field, which I found challenging and fascinating. Helping people to hope again when there is little to hope for still draws me on. How could I ever retire?

Inevitably there are batterings to be encountered in life and I had my share. Questions arose. Who was this person I thought I knew? Was my approach justified? What really mattered to me? In the midst of these musings I sensed a new-found freedom to be the person I most wanted to be. For the first time I was just myself, no expectations from others. Not everyone has this opportunity and I savoured mine. I found myself moving from being the victim to being the observer, supported by good friends.

It happened at the end of 2008 when the world was also asking questions. What did the uncertain future hold? Financial chaos and loss was rife. Political leaders appeared helpless. What had gone wrong? How could life ever return to normal? Many financial giants collapsed with Chief Executives suddenly at the bottom of the pile.

What had appeared to be right thinking was turned on its head. It was a time for re-appraisal of values and ways of working. Wind had come to the threshing floor and dispersed the chaff. It was a good time to take stock of my life. Resilience was to be highly prized and essential for survival, according to critics. Standing up again with a smile on your face after being knocked down. Surely only possible if we value life itself. In doing this we can inspire hope in others.

In the midst of the turbulence of 2008 I knew I wanted to be involved in informational therapy. Using my knowledge to promote healthy, happy living. But what form would it take? As I prepared for my new life, a poster at the hospital caught my eye. A local charity radio station was asking for news writers and presenters who would be trained in the use of the media. I realised here was a chance to live out a dream I had long cherished - using the media to enter the homes of our older people to keep them active and in touch. It all had to do with helping them to counter the effects of aging and promote independence. I knew from experience it can be so simple and yet effective.

At my farewell I was so excited about the possibilities of entering the media that it became for me a celebration of what lay ahead rather than merely looking back. There was every reason to get up and get going. Life without hope is no life at all. What better than to be able to offer hope to others of a better life. The week following my retirement I was installed at the community radio station, 209radio, as a volunteer news writer. I found having a purpose to my day was invaluable in making the transition to retirement. I chose not to have a break immediately. Friends and family were invaluable.

However this was not the only strand in my life. When I arrived in this country fourteen years ago, I came with a three-fold vision. To enable the elderly to maintain as high a quality of life as possible, was perhaps foremost. Next was a desire to teach back care in groups and finally improving the lives of those who suffered from chronic lung conditions. The latter I was able to achieve during my years as a community therapist, setting up one of the first community pulmonary rehabilitation services in England.

Through many years of practising my profession I was intrigued by problems affecting the spine but had many unanswered questions. There was no definitive treatment which was evidence based. Then came a shaft of light throwing a clear structure of back care into focus. Suffice to say that I eagerly read the basic philosophy of Five Stages of Spinal Breakdown taught by Sarah Key, an Australian physiotherapist who attended the royal family. This was several years ago and I benefited immensely from treating my own back. Towards the end of 2008, just before retiring, I was able to attend a course led by Sarah and gained a Stage One qualification, but even more, a drive to teach others how to understand and care for their own backs.

So here I was poised on the frontier of a new life with definite goals but with uncertainty both about my ability and how to best to use it. It was up to me which trail I followed. This was where my reading became of inestimable value and pieced together a way forward which I began to follow with increasing enthusiasm.

Settling down with a good book has always been a great delight to me but limited in a busy world. I had always taken time to write my thoughts whenever I could. Now the tyranny of time receded and with unknown freedom, I had plenty of time to do so. This brought great contentment into my life and in a strange way gave me time to do many other things I previously resented doing as they took time away from contemplation. This marked the start of my blogging which gave me great satisfaction even though few would ever read my posts. My one desire has always been to stimulate thinking.

Shortly into the new year, through an article in the Sunday Times, I was introduced to Malcolm Gladwell, known as an intellectual adventurer. His contention was that uncertainty breeds helplessness and we are riddled with it today. I read his first book, 'The Tipping Point', describing the way to bring about social epidemics, changing lifestyles. He gave me a clearer view of myself if I wanted to change the world. His description of key players intrigued me. Who doesn't want to make a difference? Looking back I could see instances in my life where others had made a difference. Knowing myself more clearly answered the first question I had asked, who was I, and gave me renewed confidence to face the future.

He also described the most effective ways of bringing about social epidemics. Changing behaviour of others is a daunting prospect but can be so simple. He spoke of 'sticky messages' and difficult concepts made simple. Steven Pinker, in The Stuff of Thoughts, talks of metaphors, using concrete terms known to all and pinning the concepts to them. Once again this affirmed the ways I used to motivate patients and change their behaviour. My battered self-confidence was standing up again.

This led me on to Gladwell's second book 'Blink'- trusting our thinking even though as quick as a blink, our so-called intuition. He describes thin-slicing as something we all do, based on the information stored behind the ‘locked door’, an instantaneous recce with the heart and mind. Our brain absorbs all that we experience in life, sorts it out and has it ready to go. This takes place in our subconscious which he calls the room behind the locked door.

Once again I found myself encouraged to trust my judgements. Life today is organised in such a way as to make this process of thin-slicing almost impossible, stuffing our minds with unneeded data and complex concepts. Don't drown in data and be frugal with facts. Having to continually justify and document our actions is a sure recipe for failure to act appropriately. I always saw myself as a rebel, rejecting the policies of processes. Now it seemed I was right. Going against the flow is often needed and he bolstered my efforts to do so.

I must at this stage intersperse my discoveries by mentioning a joy-bringing little bundle who joined the family. I became the owner of a little black Springer-doodle puppy, known by the name of Kenda, an Irish name meaning water-baby and chosen by my son. She turned my routine upside down and clipped my wings. J Berger has a phrase ‘recognised, needed and embraced’ saying we each need this. In a wonderful way pets can bring this into our lives so that we are never alone. I found I was spending more time at home and happy to do so. I still take delight in seeing her waiting for me with eager anticipation.

A further book of Malcolm Gladwell, The Outliers, discusses why some people seem to make such success of their lives. The factor that struck me was that they usually had extended and intensive practice at the thing that they were best at, at an opportune moment. Surely this is where retirees are top of the list. It is a good time to stop and take stock of ways in which can we can enjoy doing what we are good at and can contribute the most. Life after retirement from a paid occupation can be the most fruitful time of our lives. Survey the world of needs and opportunity and find a niche for your skills and interests.

In the weeks and months that followed I was trained in all aspects of the media. My thinking became sharper and, as I said to a friend, it was a great deterrent to dementia! Research is showing that hopelessness and helplessness are the major contributors towards heart attacks and strokes. Perhaps an absence of meaning explains why some people who retire succumb to these conditions. All the while my thoughts were busy, appraising who I was becoming, what did I really want to do, what was the best way to do it in an uncertain world which changed from day to day.

My son suggested a couple of books. The first I now read was 'We-Think', by Charles Leadbeater. He started a conversation online to gather thoughts about collaboration on the internet. He discussed the advantages and possibilities of the internet but voiced concerns as well. He felt the potential for good for our world out-weighed the downsides. He saw it was an ideal way to get knowledge to the masses who lacked education. What are called 'Bare-foot workers' would reach many more than professionals ever could.

Much of what is available on the internet is free, called open-sourcing. Leadbeater points out that recognition is more to be desired by those sharing their expertise.
My fears were somewhat assuaged and I saw the potential for health promotion. Possibly a web-based social enterprise for physiotherapists to reach into doctors' surgeries to promote activity and give advice.

We-think was followed up by 'The Craftsman' by Richard Sennitt. It was just what I needed to hear. Technology could be creative, retaining a human face and stimulating thought. The marks of true craftsmanship have never changed and can still be practiced using the computer as a tool. He showed me that empathy with vulnerability lies at the core of the relationship with a master craftsman and his student, together with hope for the future. Expertise in any area ought to be a social expertise, promoting healthy relationships and fostering a love of life and learning. Some are experts but their expertise is sterile.

An idea was forming in my mind. I had come across a company who designed websites for schools. The difference was that these websites were interactive, spurring the children on to learn through collaboration and the resources of the internet, at the same time fostering a sense of community. Indeed creative. In 2008 I had attended a conference on 'Empowering the Patient with Knowledge' with computers as the medium and realised that was where the future lay. Everything I knew and desired to teach came into focus centred on an interactive web site. This would be a way round fossilised thinking and endless bureaucracy. As Ben Goldacre says in ‘Bad Science’ there needs to be ‘unmediated access to niche expertise’

Inevitably professional conduct became relevant. It is an issue I constantly engage with as I seek to draw near to my patients and colleagues, something discouraged by current professionalism. I had gained much support from 'Blink' and now more was to follow. Ivan Illich, a theologian and philosopher, in Medical Nemesis, voiced fears and dangers of professionalism becoming inward-looking and self-serving. True professionality expresses knowledge of a high academic standard in simplest forms, wanting to include those whom it can benefit.

Life has become medicalised and doctors, above all, have become priests of the new religion. Incompetence and loss of autonomy decimate the ordinary man who is then managed by the professionals. Old Age becomes an illness and men who report sick are in fact sick of life but helpless to change their circumstances. What better than to educate those seeking freedom. Good neighbourliness is a lost art but needed now more than ever. Technology can be a friend or a foe. Those who care must appropriate its powers, but retain a human face, showing respect and dignity towards those whom it purports to help.

Then came the 15th September, the birth of our show, Silver Lining. Just like any birth, it was thrilling to see many months of training and discussion transformed into reality and to go out on air, reaching out to the housebound elderly and disabled. It was no longer just a dream. Creating the programme of music and exercises was profoundly satisfying and our team of four older volunteers gave freely of their time to make it happen. I think we would agree it has been fun. We were well supported by the staff at 209radio and the training we were given in studio technology added to our skills. Week by week we continue to enjoy the fruit of our labours. Those who listen show much appreciation.

The final strand in my new life was woven when I attended, for the first time, the annual congress of the Society of Physiotherapy. The speakers on the Health and Well-being strand confirmed long-held views on health and social well-being and were now backed by research. How strange that we now have evidence to support living a balanced, healthy and active life. A 15 minute brisk walk one of the best antidotes to cravings. Encouraging productivity using our bodies, a remedy for depression. Those who value their bodies will care for them. Physiotherapy is an art as well as a science and so has scope for creativity and life. Words such as joy, fun, play and dance can be part of it all.

Running parallel to my reading I continued to add posts to my blogs. Out of I know not where, I discovered some recently written books on philosophy. I found it was not some ivory tower musing but was essential in living the good life, however defined. Ever since I can remember I have sought to understand the deeper things of life, always asking questions. Now I found some companions, in particular Andre Compt-Sponville, a French philosopher, who reaffirmed to me that living an examined life is the only way to truly live. Lucid happiness seemed to be their goal and love the beating heart of life.

Without doubt the most enriching part of my life has been to discover friends who walk the same road. Life has much to throw at us these days, particularly the pressures of time and choice. Loneliness is a common ingredient in most lives and added to meaninglessness brings abject despair. We seem to have lost the art of friendship, surely one of the greatest gifts life can give. C S Lewis talks of appreciative love as the greatest of all loves, giving rather than getting. Perhaps because this is what God desires from us above all. Gratitude and joy are bound up with it, but enrich the giver as much as the one to whom it is given.

It seems that in ordering our lives to enrich the lives of others we find the elixir of life.